OUTCAST

I feel like an out cast,
on enemy lines
I'm all alone
buried in grief
Not just at home
not just at work
Every where...I'm a never ending cycle of loneliness
I feel like I'm a circus freak
Trapped in a bubble alone
everyone peers  in but no one dare touch me...
Im all alone...lost I cant find my way out
Im an out cast
I am nowhere to be found

Sometimes...

Sometimes  you start to wonder
What others think of you
But dont you realize
the only opinion that matters
is the one you have of you?
Stop worrying about what
others have to say.
Worry about being your truest form
see what comes out in you
Live your life the way you want
Dont forget the truth
Because the only opinion that
matter is the one
you have for you.

All my life I've cared about what people thought about me. I got embarrassed by the smallest thing. I spent all my time trying to be like the other girls and guys. I wanted so badly to fit in. I wanted so much to be liked by that cute guy in middle school. I wanted so badly to be like by the jerk that broke my heart in high school. I wanted so badly to look like that beautiful girl so I could be happy. Then one day I looked in the mirror and I saw the true me. I wasnt cut out to be the most popular or the prettiest. I wasnt cut out to be the one with the most boyfriends in high school. I was cut out to be the theater geek that spazzes out from time to time dancing around the stage without a care as to what people thought. I didnt care if they laughed and stared, I didnt care if they thought I was wierd. All that mattered is that I was having fun and making the people I'm lucky enough to have as friends laugh. For the first time real me was shining through. The layers of teasing, bullying, and being told I was ugly were starting to strip away and my light was beginning to shine. The best part is? People noticed. People began to realize that I didnt care what they thought because no matter how much they prodded poked and teased I wasnt going to change on their behalf. They knew I was done with them. I've never been more happy. Recently I've been told I was beautiful, or pretty, or cute more times in the last month than in my whole life. I love it, all because I'm being the true me. So for all you there painting the layers on yourself of what they think you should be? Put down the bucket and brush and start peeling of those layers. The most beautiful thing is someone who is true to them self. In the end you'll feel more beautiful than anyone in the world...and thats what matters over everything.
Keep Smiling Beautiful

If you knew I what I know

If you knew I liked you
I would have known you did too
If you knew I hated you
I would have known you didnt
If you knew I loved you
I would have known you love me too
If you knew I liked your goofy character
I would have known you like mine too
If you knew that I think your perfect
I would have known you I was
If you knew I liked you
would you say you liked me too?

Too scared to see what time will tell

Let the words flow out on paper
like the waters over rock.
Let my mind be free
like the spirit of a dove.
Let me tell you that I love you
like one always wants to tell.
Let me go of fears
that shackle me like a prisoner
Let me see what your thinking
like a psychics crystal ball
Let me not be scared to see
what time will tell.